Suffocating Love

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Sunday, June 3, 2012 at 12:31am ·

   It is a terrible feeling to have to put these two terms together, Suffocating Love. One would rightly term it an oxymoron and be true for most part. I daresay it comes from a dominating character of an individual to display such obscenity with not just a hint but a obvious display of pride, arrogance, self-centeredness and mere dumb ears. When for all it stands for love is one that shows grace, charm and great beauty, this is but a wretched manipulation by the repugnant soul so as to suffocate the other.

   The popular quote: ‘if you love, let go’ started to make its true sense and understanding to have been exposed to such suffocating display of emotion (I wouldn’t even call it love now). Emotions and feelings could lead one into such dangerous and desperate measures when you start to fool yourself into loving another, but the action just doesn’t sum up! 

  • How much longer am I to wait for you? – Impatience.
  • I am so better than him/her. – Pride.
  • I wish both of you hell. – Cruelty.
  • I can’t believe you’re happy without me. – Envy.
  • You did this, you did that. – Record of wrongs.
  • That moment you had a good time lashing out your anger on the one who stole your person. – Delight in evil.
  • Please do me a favor (a seemingly humble request that uses politeness for a mask). – Self-centeredness. 

   Quarter of a century into life, I suddenly come to a conclusion: I think I don’t really know what love is, nor have I seen anyone show such a thing as love. I do not know what ‘happily ever after’ means; neither do I see love behind spying and stalking. Nevertheless, I do believe in love. And when it comes to it, I do not look up to anyone; I just read the most beautiful lines I’ve ever come across: 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Faith, hope, love; and the greatest is love.

Samson versus Delilah

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   One of the most contradicting pair of terms in the Bible would be Nazirite and Gentile.

   The term Gentile was originally a general term for ‘nations’ but acquired a restricted sense of usage. The Israelites were constantly tempted to compromise with the idolatry and immortality practiced by other nations, so bringing God’s judgement on themselves. On their return from the Exile, the danger was still more insidious because of the corruptness of the Jews who had remained in Canaan. This continual struggle against contamination from their neighbours led to so hard and exclusive an attitude to other nations that by the time of Christ, for a Jew to stigmatize his fellow as ‘Gentile’ was a term of scorn equal in opprobrium to ‘tax-collector’. In other words, Gentiles were equated to evil.

   On the other hand, Nazirite is one who separates himself from others by consecration to Yahweh with a special vow. The word itself is derived from Hebrew word nazir which means ‘to separate, consecrate, abstain’. In one of the books of the Bible, Numbers Chapter 6, we can find that there are prohibitions and violations in being a Nazirite. In general terms, a Nazirite is one who devotes himself to the cause of God. By doing so he separates himself from the pleasures of this world a lead a life acceptable and pleasing to God.

   Samson was a Nazirite, Delilah was a Gentile.

   In a believer’s life, there is a constant battle fought between the forces of good and evil. Our sense of sight, hearing, touch, smell, perception and emotions almost always affect us to have a twin opinion and thus a twin option about our response towards the stimuli from the things that surround us. Every day we are faced with choices we have to make, and it is the forces in us that affect us to do one or the other. But then, ultimately it is our decision that takes place, and it all depend on us which force we join in the battle. Each person is responsible to make a mature decision in executing his or her actions and this would affect not only self but also the close surroundings.

   In us, is a Samson; and in us, is a Delilah.

   We are the children of God, created in His own image, in His likeness. ‘And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness’ (Genesis 1:26 KJV). There is the version of us which is a Nazarite: consecrated and separated for God and His will alone; the part of us which responds positively to the variety of stimulating inputs from our surroundings. Deep down inside a human heart is goodness and nobility; even the worst of murderers have a soft spot. ‘But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding’ (Job 32:8 KJV). It is the one true signature of the Creator, the likeness and image of a loving God. ‘But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light’ (1 Peter 2:9 KJV).

   But after the fall of man, there is constant evil in humanity. There was born a version in us which is Gentile: dead in the sight of God, ‘we grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes: we stumble at noon day as in the night; we are in desolate places as dead men’ (Isaiah 59:10 KJV); unhealthy ‘from the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment.’ (Isaiah 1:6); an adversary to God, ‘I have wounded thee with the wound of an enemy, with the chastisement of a cruel one, for the multitude of thine iniquity; because thy sins were increased’ (Jeremiah 30:14 KJV); worthless, ‘Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity’ (Psalms 62:9); unclean, ‘Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin? Divers weights, and divers measures, both of them are alike abomination to the LORD’ (Psalms 20:9-10 KJV); lost, ‘All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way’ (Isaiah 53:6 KJV); evil’s offspring, ‘Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do’ (John 8:44 KJV).

   Taking the context of Samson and Delilah in expression of the good and evil ever fighting within us; Samson stands for everything God has purposed us for, and Delilah stands for the evil that does everything in its power to desecrate that divine purpose.

   In our everyday life, as we face the many tasks, challenges and decisions we ought to make, let us be aware of the Samson and the Delilah in us; and also the consequences both potentiates. Samson was ever against the Philistines, the enemy of God while Delilah was for them. Are you going to let Samson take over, strengthen the Samson in you and let it crush the philistines? Or let the Delilah defeat Samson in a most cunning manner? The choice is yours.