Mapuii: Her pain and her salvage

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   By any measurement, seven years is not a joke. For it is enough time for her to help him get rid of his addictions, get him a job, help him recover from past wounds, support him against her own family’s consent, love him, and care for him no matter what. Honestly, she could have better suitors, but then seven years is long enough to get rid of all the others and proof herself, and you can be certain she sure did.

   But this was not her happy ending. When everyone else thought it would be, especially after she carried his child, and desperate measures taken against all that is considered moral, no one ever did suspect she’d end up in this manner, alone.

   Recall the night everything went topsy-turvy. She was in a complete hysteria with her bags secretly packed, her mind ever in constant motion, heightened senses for the least noise, silenced phone expected to vibrate anytime in her trembling hands. As she rambled around in her restlessness, the rooms grew smaller in her need for immediate space, and the air seemed to slowly run out of vitality. The clock seemed to tick away faster that it should be, at times slower, but ever did steadfastly praying the correct time, impeccable as always.

   Mixed emotions of fear and joy, replaced by hyperactivity, mixed with dread. Hope turns to frustration, frustration turns to anger, anger turns to rage; rage gives in and hopelessness sets in. She’d then recover herself of all negativity, revitalized her emotions with a new wave of hope she mustered at the thought of him. The vicious emotional cycle repeats itself till she gave up completely for the night. Texts after texts, unanswered calls after unanswered calls; broken, she decided to let her exhausted body rest.

   But the hope of awakening to the sunshine with a refreshed spirit was dampened even before she could start to settle her confusion and her many unanswered questions. What makes a man propose to a woman for her hand? What does seven stand for when you count it in years? How much forgiveness does the human heart can give? How would she handle being replaced? Badly? No one would blame her even if she did, i daresay she got every right to do it.

   When the world has become smaller than it seemed, when every waking moment hurts you inside and you can’t heal, when for so long you’ve taken care of someone who chose the other in the end, when years of struggle yields no harvest, when years of love gave you hurt for a reward, when a pathetic nobody just comes and takes away your blood and sweat, when you don’t understand and no one can give you the right answer, when you get to watch your world going down the drain.

   Everything she had hoped for, all her love for so many years, her world, her man, gone. She is left alone, with a child inside her. And as she holds her belly and embrace her fate in this world of pain he left her in, she is not about to give up. For this may be the end of but a chapter, it is the beginning of another. And as this worn and weary maiden brings forth another soul into this world, she herself will lead a new life. A child, her child, is born. And she will live for the new love of her life.

“In the company of strangers
In a cold and sterile room
All alone with a child inside me
And I don’t know what to do
Jesus can You hear me?
Come and heal my brokenness
Put the pieces back together
And be a father to the fatherless..

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