So far to find

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   From heaven’s throne down to a rugged cross I came; it was my love for you that brought me all the way. Who am I to say no to that?

   For so long have I whined and fretted about my own heart rejected, not once but over and over again. It took me all that I can possibly muster to show my love, to show how much I care. But in the end all I get is nothing but a big frustration, a broken heart and loneliness.

   I would complain, complained and complained about my how my life turns out. Friends at times would give me the “unfortunate” tag, but never the appreciation nor the gratitude. The concept was very simple indeed: you want love? Start by giving it first. Then I gave and gave and gave, but never to be answered; torn between relationships, going for the trusted, seeking firm foundations, risking sacrifices only to find the untrustworthy, ever shaking grounds and useless sacrifices. Life led to nowhere but more sorrow, more pain, more frustrations and more deceptions.

   Broken, abandoned and crying all alone. Sometimes it’s easy to just break down and decide to give up on life; and sometimes you end up screaming in anger “Life! Is that all you got?!” At times you just stand there amused at how life simply turns and twists your every possible happy ending. But there’s always two ways to deal with every aspect of life; there is more than one way to kill a chicken.

   Then I heard this small voice calling out to me. It sounded so familiar I didn’t even know it was still calling after all this time! But at the end of my own reason, when I completely broke down, lost for words and thoughts, when the storm in me quieted down out of exhaustion, I can finally hear that voice. That voice was once a leading choir in my life, singing me to life and guarding my every foot step. It was me who had turned it down into a small voice.

   As I sat there, starting to listen to the only voice that cared to call out to me when no one else has, that cared enough to stay with me when every other soul has left. It grew louder and louder, and then I heard the sweetest words ever –

Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight?
I have come so far to find you, so far to find you!
Will you take my love and give up the fight?
I have come so far to find you.

From heaven’s throne down to a rugged cross I came,
It was my love for you that brought me all the way.

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